


Night in the Hotel

by Mr_Yaoi



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Bad Ideas, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Stubbornness, bad title, conflicted feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 15:00:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5379431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_Yaoi/pseuds/Mr_Yaoi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An unexpected incident has Eddie life turned into chaos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Night in the Hotel

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so this fic was meant to be a one shot, but as I wrote I noticed that it should actually be a more proper chapter like fic, but i've no time to write that, so sorry if it seems kinda poorly. It was an inspiration, it was bugging me over a year and I just had to write. 
> 
> Also this haven't been beta'd and english is not my first language.

                “Can you go get the report from our last case from Barry, please?” The sentence sends a chill Eddie’s spine. He wasn’t sure if it was because it involved him going to see and talk to Barry or, the most probable reason really, was how polite Joe asked him to do that, his tone almost friendly, much different than the cold, harsh and disapproving sounds his words had taken in the last few months. Eddie looked up from his paperwork to find that the latter was the reason of the bad feeling, especially when Joe looked absolutely passive, bored even, but his eyes all but screamed; ‘my gun is within reach, don’t test me boy.’ So the blond nodded and got up, making his way to the place he have been desperately trying to avoid, not that he was able to completely deny the place since he worked there, still either being as curt as possible or going when the forensic scientist wasn’t present. _For three months now_ , he thought to himself, with a pang on his heart. He missed Barry, so much, he was a friend that should be kept for life, but given the circumstance that connection needed to be broken. Before he could feel bad for such thoughts, as a picture of a very sad Barry popped into his mind, he found himself in front of the dreaded door. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on it gently and opened it, taking a firm step forward.

 

                As he closed the door behind him and took a few more steps forward, Eddie looked around casually looking for the brunette, though he knew where the man was and that this was all but stalling. After properly examining the walls, celling and corners, and shockingly finding out Barry wasn’t there, he let his gaze fall on the table, where the scientist was in deep concentration looking at some evidence through a microscope, definitely didn’t even notice that someone had walked in. Eddie considered just turning around, quietly sneaking out and going back to his desk and telling Joe that either the report wasn’t finished or that Barry wasn’t there, both are perfectly acceptable excuses, but he knew the older detective would call his bluff. He let out a defeated sigh at his precarious situation, making Barry suddenly jump in his chair. _No escaping now_.

                Barry turned around to see who was invading his peaceful lab and the look on his face made Eddie think he was either ready to curse, which he doubted since he never saw Barry curse, ever, or asked why was someone standing there like a ghost to begin with, but when he saw the blond cop he quickly closed his mouth, recomposed himself, nodded to himself and stood up. “Hey.” He tried saying, casually, a small smile on his lips, but Eddie wasn’t there for pleasantries.

                “Joe sent me to pick up the report for last week’s case.” Eddie said bluntly, expression calm and collected, trying to focus on what matter and getting out of there as soon as he could, unwanted thoughts already reminding him of the moment he so desperately tried to forget and the moment he so desperately want to recreate. Barry, nodded, but didn’t move or said anything back, swinging back and forth on the balls of his feet like a kid who did something wrong and is trying to pretend everything is fine. “Well? Do you have it?” Eddie asked in slight annoyance.

                “Yeah, I already gave it to Joe…..” Barry finally replied, scratching his left cheek and not meeting Eddie’s eyes. That took him by surprise. “I just asked Joe to send you here so we could talk about….”

                Eddie didn’t let him finish. “I’m going, bye Barry.” He said, turning his back to his colleague and making his way for the door.

                He reached for the handle and was about to open the door when the, surprisingly, confident voice of Allen echoed through the walls. “If you walk away I’ll follow you and scream for the whole department to hear, ‘why won’t you talk to me about the time we slept together, Eddie Thawne?!?’”  That stopped him in his tracks. Eddie bit his lower lip hard; half to stop himself from laughing. Only Barry to put it in such a dramatic way that could be so mistakenly interpreted. Yes, they slept together, shared a bed and made way to the land of dream, but if anyone from the department heard him now they would think that slept was the last thing that happened in that bed, making him sound like a monster and having Joe shooting him on sight, twice even, one for daughter and one for the son he had sex with. Even if he didn’t, well, with Barry at least, he was still guilt about sleeping with Iris, in the less innocent sense. The other half was to hold back a groan as he knew today there would be no escape, he would have to talk about it, settle this matter right here and now.

                He turned around and leaned against the door, crossing his arms and looking not too happy about this whole thing. “What is there to talk? We went to exam a crime scene, we got stuck, had to share a hotel room and bed, slept and that’s that.” And now it was Barry’s turn to cross his arms as he stared into Eddie’s eyes and raised an eyebrow, silently asking if the detective thought he was that stupid. Eddie rolled his eyes. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to think about it.

Still his mind started to replay the events in his head.

                The whole gang decided to go to starling city to visit Oliver and his gang, the rich man was throwing a party of some sort and had invited them to attend it since there would be so many people he didn’t know and he could use a few friends around. Most of his usual friends had plans on that day. Eddie had the impression he only wanted to invite Barry but was polite enough to invite his friends too, which as fine with him since he would end up seeing Iris in one of her sexy party dress. The only problem was that said girlfriend decided to turn this into a week vacation. So they planned to go there in the beginning of the week, go sightseeing and such, party in the weekend and come back on the Sunday. Not the worse plan, at the time, problem was that Barry and him couldn’t get the time off work, only managing to get Thursday and Friday, and after a lot of begging and having Barry use his puppy eyes on the captain. Maybe a bit of fiddling too. It was Wednesday night, when he and Barry were having dinner together, since everyone else besides Joe had pretty much left, that he had a “genius” idea, much like his girlfriend, that they should go by car to Starling, make it a road trip, taking the train would be too boring. Definitely not because he was not looking forward to museums and such plans Iris had saved for when they arrived. Barry, the ever enthusiastic, agreed instantly, big smile on his face.

                Of course he should’ve imagined things wouldn’t go as they planned, when does it ever? For a starter they both woke up late, and with Barry always showing up late, even when he is already late, they only left after one, which wasn’t that bad, they could still make to Starling before the day was over. They didn’t. Somehow they managed to come across not one, not two, but three robberies in progress, and neither could let it go unchecked just because it was their day off. So after helping arrest the culprit, finding a way to dodge the paperwork and apologising for working on the day they worked so hard to get off, they were once again on their way, with the sun setting on the horizon. At least they would make to Starling before sunrise. Or not. When they were nearing the edge of the city, ready to take the road and drive away, they got a flat tire. Eddie cursed out loud for a got minute. Of course through it all Barry tried to stay positive, but positive attitude got no one from one city to another or fixed cars. To help their satiation even more they could only come for his car on the next day and he was in a rather dodgy looking neighbourhood, no way was he leaving his car there.

                “Calm down, it’s going to be ok.” Barry said, “Look, there’s a hotel right there, with a parking lot I might add, we just stay there for the night, they come for the car in the morning, we get an early train and we’ll be in Starling in no time.” To finish it all he gave one of his million waltz smile and Eddie had to roll his eyes at his ability to see a good side for everything. Especially the hotel. It had a parking lot, alright, completely empty. No wonder since the hotel itself looked like it could crumble at the first night breeze. Still, they had no other choice. With a sigh, Eddie agreed to it and they managed to get the car to the parking spot. The inside of the hotel wasn’t that much better, old furniture, walls in need of desperate paint job and many worse things he pretended not to see.

                “You’ve got to be kidding me!” Eddie said, not even trying to hide the annoyance and anger in his voice, as he looked at the room. It was more a closet than a room even, with a tiny single bed, two doors poorly looking wardrobe on the wall, which was so close to the bed that a person could barely fit between them, and no windows. That was the room they would have to share. Of all the things he expected when he accepted coming to this hotel, it having no rooms was not one of them. The owner laughed when they asked for two rooms, saying that they couldn’t have chosen a worse time since five out of their six rooms, yes, six rooms, were being reformed in a desperate attempt to attract customers. “There’s not even room on the floor for one of us to sleep on!!!” He added as he let out a long, loud groan of anger and controlled himself not to punch a wall.

                “Eddie, Eddie, calm down. We’ll just share the bed.” Barry said, earning himself a pointed look. “What? We are both guys, not to mention you are with Iris, and I don’t take mush space, on my side, stretched out with my ankles hanging from the bed…” He finished in a whisper and Eddie had to concede defeat once more.

                “Fine, let’s just order a pizza and go to sleep so we don’t oversleep, again.” He said already pulling his phone as Barry smiled and whispered for him to order at least two. For a skinny guy, the scientist sure could put food away.

                The evening went by uneventful; they ate, talked, laughed and went to sleep. Barry on the right, stretched out and stiff as a board, most of his ankles truly hanging out of the bed. Eddie said he could take bit more of the bed, he would not explode if his back touched Barry’s, but the brunette was stubborn and said he was fine like that. Eddie took the left and barely got his feet to not hang outside of the bed too. They slept without making any more noises, back to back and a small gap between both bodies. They woke up differently.

                When Eddie woke up, unsure of the time, still groggy from sleepiness, he felt a warn body on his arms. He should know it was Barry, and he should have imagined yesterday this possibility since he is a natural cuddler, but in his hazed state his first thought was that it was Iris in his arms and he just pulled her closer. Barry let out a soft mew of content as he buried his face deeper into Eddie’s chest, their legs intertwined, Eddie’s arms wrapped around the lanky man and said man’s hand resting on his hips. The blond, eyes still closed and mind foggy as a winter’s day, pulled his hand back and gently placed on Barry’s chin, lifting his face up so their lips could meet.

                The kiss was just a tender way of saying good morning, a gently peck with the barest of pressure, but the electricity that ran from such meeting woke him up in other regions and Eddie had to deepen it. It went from a strong pressing of the lips to a tongue battle in seconds, suddenly the still bodies were pressing against each other, friction being created – and, again, Eddie should’ve noticed that there was something hard pressing against his own something hard, but the pleasure combined with his already not working mind made such details all but a trifling matter – and silent moans echoing throughout the room. It was only when Barry quietly moaned his name, no louder than a whisper, that Eddie finally opened his eyes.

                The cop pulled back with incredible haste, eyes wide as a dinner plate, the gears in his mind suddenly working at max speed to understand what was happening. On the other side of the bed Barry seemed to be doing the same, a confused and sleepy, also slightly dazed, expression on his face as he tried to get a hold of his bearings. They must have reached the same conclusion at the same time, for Eddie whispered a curse as Barry screamed one, jumping from the bed and promptly falling on the floor with a loud thud. Eddie was in too much shock to ask question, his mind was still trying to work out what exactly happened, and the fact that nothing had changed in lower departments was not helping. Barry finally stood up, recomposing himself, and their eyes met. They stood there, minute after minute, in the most pure silent as they stared at each other. Eventually Barry tried to speak, but Eddie quickly raised a warning finger and his mouth clamped shut.

                They broke their gaze, or Eddie did at least, and got on with their day. They used the bathroom at the end of the hall, of after the other of course, checked out, got the car fixed, drove back home, took a cab to the train station and got on the train heading to Starling City at last, the whole time their eyes never met and if Barry ever threatened to speak Eddie would simple shake his head or raise a finger once again. During the train ride Barry didn’t attempt to speak, simply kept staring at his shoes while Eddie stared out at the window, his mind still on overdrive trying to understand, well, everything. When the train stopped and they got up to leave the train Barry whispered, “I thought it was a dream….” and made his way to the exit before Eddie could even react.

                They smiled when they saw their friends and if anyone asked if they were ok they simply replied they were fine without even glancing at one another. The air was somewhat awkward then, and it remained awkward throughout he whole Friday and weekend. They smiled, joked, talked, but never with each other, eye or physical contact a unspoken and forbidden rule. Their friends kept asking if they were ok or if something happened, but they kept replying they were fine, and the subject was dropped off, though the group would share a few looks between themselves, they knew there was something wrong but couldn’t figure out what.

                Eddie barely slept Friday night.

                During the party was easy to avoid Barry, to avoid questions. Not so easy to avoid Oliver Queen’s intense stare. The rich man seemed to be always looking at Eddie, as if he was judging, no, trying to figure something out, trying to read Eddie and find out a deep secret that only he was aware of. Of course he doubted it was _the_ secret, since Barry probably told him, of that he was sure, so he wasn’t sure what else mr. Queen was trying to uncover. Sometimes he would catch glimpses of him whispering something to Barry, a bit too close of his ear, not that it mattered to him. Of course, to deal with all his troubles there was plenty of free drinks going around, of which Eddie welcomed plenty. That night he made sure it wasn’t Barry on his bed, over and over and over, but when he was over, Iris contently sleeping in his arms, he still found no rest and no sleep.

                Back in reality, Barry gave up on waiting for Eddie to reply or give up under his stare and started to nod to himself while he looked at his shoes. “You know, I kinda expected things to be awkward, for you to be a bit uncomfortable around me for a while, for Iris to slap me in the face or you to punch me at some point, and as time goes on for us to go back to being friends.” His voice was starting to break so he cleared his throat and raised his head again, meeting Eddie’s eyes. “I didn’t expect three months of you avoiding me. I didn’t expect you to be so disgusted about me…” Eddie felt like there was something else hanging in the end of the sentence, probably ‘having feelings for you’ or something, but he didn’t reply. He wasn’t disgusted of Barry, not in the least, but he had to remain firm. Barry nodded once again. “But I tried to understand how you felt and kept my distance.” _Till now,_  Eddie wanted to add, _so why now?_ But his mouth stayed closed. Barry sighed in frustration. “Fine, tell me this then and you can go. Why did you break up with Iris?”

 

                Eddie flinched. Of all the questions for him to ask that one really hit the mark.  He didn’t want to think about that, of all things. He still loved her, so much, but he did what had to be done. Not that she saw that way or was too happy about it. All because of that one night, one bad idea. How could a single incident change his life so completely like this? He could still remember their last kiss, both the last happy one and last sad one.

                The last happy one was on the morning after Oliver’s party. She was well rested and flirty, especially after their previous late night activities, and he was pretending to be hang over to hide the fact that he was exhausted from two nights of no sleep. When they were about to leave the room she gave him a kiss full of love and tenderness, and he smiled into it for the very last time. They met their friends for breakfast, all save for Barry – Oliver claimed he was still sleeping, but the anger in his eyes behind his perfectly polite smile when he looked at Eddie made him suspect it as a lie – and they all chat and laughed as they ate, except for Eddie who mostly only nodded, chuckled and moved his food around the plate to pretend he was eating. No asked what was up with him, but he heard Iris whispering he was hang over from last night to excuse his poor mood.

                He remained polite, albeit somewhat socially absent, for the remaining of the morning till they got the train. He smiled as he said his good byes, even to Oliver, who did not stare at him this morning and was acting just as always, which was somehow more suspicious than the previous night.  When Eddie was about to get in the train he caught a glimpse of him hugging Barry and whispering something to his ear and suddenly he felt like arresting the billionaire.

                They were all very tired by the time the train started to move, the long week and even longer weekend was taking the toll on them, but still the group engaged in small talk, discussing the many sights in Starling, the places they liked and didn’t, the party, pretty much everything. Barry seemed to be back to his normal self, smiling, laughing, sometimes talking so much he forgot to breath, and somehow that made Eddie even more annoyed. Not wanting to ruin the atmosphere, the detective leaned back and closed his eyes, pretending to fall asleep, which he wished he could but still his mind was restless. The shaking of the train was calming and focusing on the ongoing conversation helped him calm down and avoid other thoughts, but when he felt a hand gently be placed on his thigh the imagine of Barry doing it flashed to his mind and he flinched violently.

                Everyone stopped talking and looked at him in small shock as he swallowed dry and looked at them somewhat not knowing what to say. “Sorry, small nightmare, don’t mind me.” He finally said with a smile, closing his eyes again, placing his hand on top of Iris and leaning back on his seat. If any of his friends didn’t believe his excuse they were polite enough not to show and resume their previously interrupted conversation. Eddie tried to tune in again, but now he truly could not focus on anything. It wasn’t the idea of Barry placing his hand on his thigh that made him jump, but the fact that Iris was there and would see him doing so. Eddie wasn’t sure which was worse, the fact that he was fine with wanting the touch of the lanky man or the fact that he was thinking of him almost as a mistress. He felt a small headache starting in the back of his mind.

                Now that he stopped to think of it, that thought was probably what started it all, his doubts and dangerous desires. After all, after such a dangerous thought, he made sure that for the remaining of the day he was always close enough to Iris to either be touching her or feel her body heat, a constant reminder that she was there, his beloved girlfriend, which he was even thinking of proposing to just the other week. That day they made fun of him for being so clingy, that he and Iris were once again acting like a teenager couple in love, and Iris eyes would shine with happiness and blush at the comments, but that only lasted that day.

                As Monday came and real life resumed Eddie attitude began to change. He started avoiding Barry as much as he could, but the thoughts were unavoidable. Thoughts of their morning, of their kiss, of what it would have been if they kept going or even if he was single and that was just the start. Those thoughts were almost pleasant, almost. And then there were the other thoughts, the ones where how would Iris react when he told her, or the ones where he compared that _one_ kiss to every other one he ever shared with her. There was also the thoughts of fear, fear of letting Barry name escape in a whisper in his sleep, when he woke up or even in a more intimate moment. Fear of Joe finding out and shooting him for playing with his family feelings. Fear of losing them all. With all that going through his mind the next two weeks were hell. He would barely sleep, and when he did it was a restless mess of images being played in his mind that gave him no real rest the next morning. He was less present for everything, with Iris, with his job, with himself even. When Iris finally confronted him and begged for him to tell her what was wrong he could only cry, shake his head and tell her he needed to sort out a few things before they could talk. The fourth week was expended in a hotel room, away from work and friends, just him, his thoughts and a lot of alcohol. 

                It was Sunday, the very last day of the fourth, though it really didn’t feel like a whole month had gone by since the incident, when he asked Iris if he could come over to talk. They meet at their place, now mostly hers than theirs though, and he sat her down and asked told her the story. She listened to it all quietly, her face displaying many emotions, but setting on none; hurt, shock, betrayal, sadness, anger, disbelieve. By the time he was finish with that story he had to tell her what came after, the thoughts, the dangerous and relentless thoughts, which kept playing on his mind, how he was so very confused and unsure of what to do. By the time he was finished and he said that he wanted a break she was in tears, still trying to process all that information. He waited patiently, expecting her to burst, shout, ask questions, anything, but all he got was silence. After a while he understood the silent message and slowly left the flat, once a sanctuary of for laughter and new memories for them, and now a quiet solace for her ever flowing tears.

                The next two months were as close to hell as he ever imagined hell would be. At the beginning Iris wouldn’t even look at him, she quickly moved out letting him have it back, not that he enjoyed it as much anymore, with all the happy and sad memories taking hold of every corner, and wouldn’t so much look at him. Eventually she came to him and said she wasn’t mad, or not mad for the reasons he thought she would be, and that he should give her time and when she didn’t feel like punching him at the very sight of his blond hair she would let him know. Eventually they came to a ‘hello’ and ‘how are you status’ again, but it never really went back to how it was.

                With Joe things were unclear. He didn’t shout, punch or shoot Eddie after Iris moved back in. He didn’t even pull the blond aside to talk, so Eddie assumed Iris gave him a very serious warning not to talk to him, or something of the sort. It must have been an incredibly scary warning if Joe had actually listened to her instructions. Still, all the friendliness was gone from him; he glared at Eddie any time he so much as looked at him, his sentence were always short and laced with hidden anger, if Eddie ever did anything wrong he really made a point about it, even if it was something small, and, to top it all, every time Joe had a gun in his hand Eddie felt the chills and considered a small victory if he didn’t get a stray bullet by the end of the day.

                Now Barry, well, Barry was truly the icing on the cake. He was everywhere, all the time. If not present in real life, then in Eddie’s mind. At work, the blond avoided him like the plague, talking only when needed because of work and keeping it simple and short; and if Barry showed any signs that he would start to talk about something else, the detective would be gone in a flash. It didn’t help. He would still somehow find his eyes following Barry whenever the brunette was in the room, he would notice details he never did before, like how it would be easy to leave a small mark on the long, beautiful neck, and he would feel the need to punch Oliver Queen every time he saw the billionaire around the scientist. And if Barry wasn’t around then he would imagine things that involved him. Thoughts like, Barry looks so tired, he should work less; Barry looks adorable when he is getting told off for being late; I wonder how he would react if I asked him out…; Would Barry fit in this bed; Does he hate me? It was a unstoppable and infinite stream of thoughts that would leave him restless at his lonely flat.

                But he stayed strong through it all, holding on to the belief that things would go back to normal eventually, feelings buried too deep to be a bother.

                Till today.

                “Fine, you don’t want to talk, I understand.” Barry said, snapping Eddie out of his daydreaming a second time that day. He looked hurtfully at his shoes, fidgeted a bit, took a deep breath and suddenly met Eddie’s eyes with determination showing strong on his features. “Eddie, I have feelings for you. I don’t know when it happened, I don’t even know how it happened. I just, I don’t know, used to love Iris, but then when you guys got together I had to deal with it, and eventually I realised I love her as a sister, it would be too awkward if we ever got together. And then you happened. Always there, mister perfect, so friendly, so eager to help, so, I don’t know, so… Eddie! And before I knew I was looking at you more than I should, and then I started thinking of you more and more, and then dreaming of you where I would wake up in your arms and you would kiss me good morning….” He gave it a pause so Eddie could understand that he meant like that morning in the hotel. “But I didn’t plan to act on it, I was fine being your friend, seeing you happy. With Iris. I expected to eventually get over it. I didn’t expect you to be so disgusted by it.” A tear rolled out of his eyes when he finished and suddenly Eddie understood that Barry was giving his all not to break, right then and there. Eddie wasn’t the only one in hell for three months, he was just too focused on himself to noticed others suffering.

                Eddie sighed, his heart hurting from the way Barry looked and the hurt that could be seem in his eyes, and took a step forward. “Barry, look, I’m sorry I gave you that impression. It’s just, everything that happened was so… sudden! I’m still not even sure how to deal with it. Me, Iris, you, Joe, our job, it’s all so intertwined that it’s not even funny.” He took another step and placed a hand on the taller man shoulder. “But I promise you this, I’m not disgusted by you. I’m sorry I was being such a jerk. I, we can go back to how we were before ok? I just need a bit more time to deal with all this information, so you have to bear with this,” he pointed his finger to him and Barry back and forth, “being awkward for a bit more ok?” He finished with a soft smile, thinking that would fix what was broken, or it would be a start, but Barry’s eyes suddenly seem more hurt, almost a bit disappointed, somehow, but the scientist simply nodded and gave a weak smile back.

                Eddie tightened his hand into a fist, knuckles going pale white, to stop himself from doing something he would regret later, and used his other hand to give a few more pats on Barry’s shoulder before turning for the door. As he made his way to the exit he couldn’t help but think how easy it would be to turn around, slam the brunette on the wall and take his lips with his own, to taste them once more, see if there was truly something there or it was just the fact that they were really sleepy on _that_ morning that made it so spectacular. He placed his hand on the door knob and stopped. He could picture Barry’s confused expression looking at him just a few steps back. “You know, if it wasn’t all so complicated, I wouldn’t mind actually trying… **this** out. But it is, so let’s just forget it all.” He almost shouted as he stormed out of the room and took long steps back to his desk, not daring to look back.

                Thankfully, Joe didn’t say a word when he sat down so brusquely that the chair practically snapped in half, didn’t so much look at him even. Eddie took a deep breath and pretended to read to read some of the paper spread on his desk, which he was reading before, but his vision was blurry and his mind was a mess of thoughts, replaying every moment from the last three months, again and again, as if he could somehow change them in his mind and it would change the reality too. He had hurt so many people he cared for. He broke Iris heart; he lost Joe’s respect; he destroyed Barry’s friendship. And now he broke his heart too. A single tear rolled down his eye and blotched the paper in front of him. “I think now would be a good time for your lunch break.” Joe’s said suddenly, finally looking at Eddie, but his expression was impossible to read, so Eddie decided to take what he could get once again and simply nodded.

                “I absolutely agree with that.” A more chipper voice suddenly announced behind his partner, and as Eddie raised his eyes and Joe turned around they saw Iris making her way to them, looking stunning as always and displaying her perfect smile, something he haven’t seen in what felt like forever.  “Hi dad.” She added, bending down a bit to kiss Joe on the cheek.

                “Hey sweetheart, what are you doing here?” Joe asked, his voice now tender and friendly like when his kids are around and smile on his face.

                “Oh, Eddie and I have lunch plans, so I came to pick him up and say hi to you.” She replied suddenly turning to Eddie. Joe did the same, smile complete gone and one eyebrow raised.

                Eddie looked from one West to the other till he realised he was expected to say something. “Oh, right, err, let’s go then, I’m starving.” He said, trying to sound casual as before all hell had broken loose, and got up picked his blazer.  “See you later, Joe.” He added as he walked past his partner, but Joe did not even nod, simply stare at them away, and Eddie wonder if there would be holes in the back of his clothes from the intensity of it.

                Neither said a word during in the elevator and as soon as the door opened Iris was already on the move, stride off without looking back, and Eddie got the hint that he should follow her. He wasn’t too surprised when they got to the Jitters, the most common spot for them. They went in, ordered drinks and food and sat down at a table somewhat away from other people. It was then that Iris finally spoke. “So, have you and Barry worked things out yet?” She asked innocently, or at least looking innocent enough but Eddie quickly understood where this was going.

                “Ah, I see, me going to his lab and him talking to me was all you.” He stated, though he couldn’t quite figure out what her reason for doing so was. She raised her hands and her smile grew bigger, a gesture to admit she was guilty as charged. “I’m confused, Iris, what are you trying to do here exactly?” The question came out sad, his voice showing how tired of this situation he was.

                Iris sat back, taking a sip of her drink while keeping eye contact with the cop, working out her answer in her head or judging him, he wasn’t sure which. “You know, when you told me about… you guys, I was reaaaally angry. Not at you, or Barry, more at how ridiculous the situation was and how powerless to it I was. I mean, how could I be angry at either of you? For what, lying in bed together and accidentally kissing?” She scoffed, “Yeah right. And that was what made me angry, the fact I couldn’t be angry at anything or anyone. Well, I was angry at you guys, of course, but I couldn’t go and shout at you or anything for something you didn’t do on purpose. And you even told me about it!” She nodded to herself, clearly relieving the conversation in her mind. “I went to talk to Barry after and, god, the guilty in his eyes, you would think he had killed someone.” She let out a small chuckle and paused to take another sip of her drink, Eddie listening quietly to her as he sipped his own. “And it hurt, wow, it really did, the break up. One day you wake up wondering when your boyfriend is going to propose to you and the next you wake up alone.” Eddie flinched in guilty, but before he could apologise once again she raised a hand stopping him. “But, then, after I was feeling a bit better I started to think, remember things. I had noticed before Barry looking at us a lot, when he thought we weren’t looking of course, and I thought he was looking at me, since he used to have a thing for me so long ago, but it was you. And now, it’s the reverse. He won’t meet your eyes, ever, but every time he enters a room your eyes goes straight to him.”

                Eddie blushed and broke eye contact, suddenly the floor looked very interesting. “Iris, I know where you are going with this, but it can’t happened. We have too much history, you, me, Joe, Barry, our work, it’s too complicated! Just the other day we were living together!” He almost shouted, but Iris only scoffed again and he looked up with a raised eyebrow.

                “Eddie please, it’s been two months now. Look, I loved you, probably still do, but I won’t stop living my life because of you and our history, neither should you. You two are pining for each other and it hurts to watch, more than it’ll hurt to watch you two together. And even then it’ll stop hurting eventually and I’ll be genially happy for the two of you. My dad won’t understand at first, that’s for sure, but even he will eventually get over it. You need to forgive yourself for things that you can’t control.” At the end her voice was laced with understanding and kindness and Eddie felt his eyes get a bit watery.

                She was right, he couldn’t help this. He never had considered Barry as anything more than a friend, but when that door opened suddenly all he could do was imagine the many ‘what if’s involving the brunette. But even then, now it was too late. He let his gaze fall and shook his head weakly. “I screw it up earlier anyway, it’s t- ow!” He rubbed the side of his forehead where Iris slapped him suddenly, with a rather heavy hand for a reporter he might add. “What the hell, Iris?” He asked in indignation.

                “So you messed it up earlier, so what? It’s not like you haven’t messed up before. Now get yourself out of this self-pity hole you dug for yourself and go! Talk! To! Him!!!” She emphasised the last four words with four more slaps, and they all hurt. Eddie rubbed his now sore arm and met the angry glare she was giving him. There was more than encouraging in it, there was hurt, from what he did and from what he was refusing to do, and anger, from what he was doing to her brother he would guess, and suddenly he remembered once more that he dragged others to hell with him and he couldn’t let it all be for nothing now. He was going to pull himself out of this hole just like Iris said, yes, but he was going to bring the rest of them with him.

                He stood up with an abrupt jerk that send his chair back, slamming the floor loudly and gathering the attention from the people around him.  “Sorry, Iris, I gotta go!!!” He said before turning around and rushing from the shop, so fast in fact he didn’t even see Iris sit back with a small smile as she shook her head and whispered ‘blockhead’ to herself.

                He made his way back to the station and to the labs door in record time, going by the department so fast he wondered if knocked someone out of his way. Not important. He gave the door three quick knocks and went in before the owner could reply. When he got inside he saw Barry turning his chair around to see who was intruding his lab, eyes and face red, clearly he had cried not long ago. Eddie swallowed dry. The cop closed the door behind him, cleared his throat and took a few steps forward. “I was thinking that a great way for to go back to normal would be for us to maybe go to dinner after work. My treat.” Most people would apologise, make a small declaration of how they saw the mistakes they made and are ready to move forward. Eddie ignores all that go straight for asking him out of the blue. Smooth. Barry must have been thinking the same as he suddenly laugh and just nod in confirmation, unable to speak, or even breath, from how hard he was laughing. Eddie, blushes a bit and nod. “Ok, I’ll pick you up at seven then. See you.” He turns around quickly and make for the exit.

                Much like earlier, when his hand touches the door handle he consider turning around and kissing Barry, this time would much sweeter since he wouldn’t have to apologize for it or for the conversation previously had, but then he hears his name being called and he turns around only to be forcefully pressed against the door and his lips taken over by a pre-emptive move of Barry’s. The scientist locks their lips forcefully, passionately, and Eddie loses himself to it. He places a hand on the back of the brunette neck and respond to the kiss with just as much passion, lips locking, loud smacks sounds echoing through the room and suddenly they deepen it, tongues meeting, exploring new places, memorising the tastes and shapes of each other’s mouth as silent moans escape from the parted lips. Barry is the first one to run out of breath, his head falling on Eddie’s shoulder as he uses the detective for support. It’s then, while the blond also try to get his breath back, that he notices that Barry have one of his hand with a white knuckle grip on his shirt and he is shaking slight. Eddie smile understanding, pulling the lanky man closer and placing a gentle hand on his back. “It’s real, Bear, not a dream.” He whisper and can feel on his neck the smile forming on Barry’s face.

                As usual Iris was right, their new relationship wasn’t easy. After a few dates that went very right, with only the barest of awkwardness taking place, they came out to Joe, with Iris present of course. He didn’t understand it at first and avoided asking too many question, he wanted to hear details as much as Eddie wanted to tell them, but he wasn’t too happy about it and Eddie had to work hard to get his trust back. Their relationship with Iris also took a while to return to normal, with them not knowing what was too awkward to say or joke or feeling guilt when she discreetly flinched whenever they shared a moment, but even then it all worked out and before anyone noticed she was teasing them right and left. The relationship itself was also a rollercoaster, where sometimes it was easy as breathing and others was hard and full of conflict. It was only after three months that they started to finally get used to each other, their past and their future, but they were happy.

                They woke up in each other’s arms many times, but this time they knew it wasn’t a dream. And they didn’t stop after just a kiss either.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, not sure if I like it or not... I think the pacing was confusing and the end could've been better, but alas, I only have so much time and inspiration. 
> 
> Also I wanted to included that Barry had shared the incident with Oliver and during the party he was trying to figure out how Eddie was feeling about it, and when he figure out he was actually confused he started to try to make him jealous without telling Barry, but I didn't find room to include it. 
> 
> So reviews and constructive critique are welcomed.


End file.
